Good week for:
Tesla, after Consumer Reports named the company’s electric-powered Model S its “best overall” car, calling it a “technological tour de force” and giving it 99 out of 100 points—its highest-ever rating. Tesla’s stock is up more than 600 percent in a year.
Entrepreneurship, after a San Francisco Girl Scout set up a cookie stand outside a medical marijuana clinic, and sold out her entire stash of munchies in just 45 minutes. “They get very hungry after [smoking],” said Danielle Lei, 13.
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The Good Book, after an Ohio bus driver was shot twice in the chest at close range by hoodlums, but survived because a Bible in his shirt pocket stopped the bullets. “There was obviously some kind of intervention,” said a police officer.
Bad week for:
The ankles of Phoenix residents, after authorities in that Arizona city received more than 6,000 calls from people who’d been harassed by packs of feral, yapping Chihuahuas.
Dyonta Rose, a Texas man who allegedly fled police custody while still in handcuffs, then called 911 to request medical help, complaining that his manacles were cutting off the circulation in his arm. He was rearrested.
Fortune-tellers, after a house in London burned down when a crystal ball magnified sunlight coming through a window, setting bedroom curtains alight. “You can’t predict the future,” said a firefighter, “but you can prevent this type of fire by keeping glass ornaments away from sunny windowsills.”
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