Good week, Bad week
Masochists, Mockery, Marcia Fuqua
Good week for:
Masochists, after a Chinese businessman announced plans to build a replica of the Titanic as a theme-park ride. The simulation of hitting an iceberg will be so realistic, said Su Shaojun, visitors “will think, ‘The water will drown me, I must escape.’”
Conspiracy theorists, after Iran’s semiofficial Fars news agency reported that secret documents stolen by National Security Agency leaker Edward Snowden offered “incontrovertible proof” that the U.S. is being run by a “shadow government” of space aliens.
Mockery, after Gov. Chris Christie’s music idol, Bruce Springsteen, performed a parody of “Born to Run” on the Jimmy Fallon show that included such lines as, “I’m stuck in Gov. Chris Christie’s Fort Lee, N.J., traffic jam.”
Bad week for:
Having a pet that can talk, after a driver stopped by police in Mexico City was ratted out by his pet parrot, which screamed, “He’s drunk! He’s drunk!” A test showed that the bird was correct.
Marcia Fuqua, a Virginia woman who bought a small painting for $7 at a flea market, only to discover it was a Renoir original worth $100,000. A judge ruled that Fuqua must give the painting back to the Baltimore Museum of Art, from which it was stolen in 1951.
Wild West nostalgia, after officials in Deadwood, S.D., signed off on a businessman’s plan to open an indoor shooting range and saloon. Owner Greg Vecchi said he’d make sure customers used his services in the right order: “Bullets first, beer second.”