The Week contest: 2014 headline

Last week's question: What headline can we be fairly certain not to see in 2014?

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Failure to Pay Phone Bill Closes NSA

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J. Reed Johnston Jr., Greensboro, N.C.

SECOND PLACE: Healthcare.gov Wins Webby Award for Best New Website

Kristin Hothersall, Alpharetta, Ga.

THIRD PLACE: Kim and Kanye Marry Secretly in Modest Ceremony

Judith Cottrill, Bronx, N.Y.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Hillary Clinton Declines Presidential Run

Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.

American Students Jump to No. 1 in Math and Science Scores

Janine Witte, New Hope, Pa.

Kim Jong Un Wins Nephew of the Year Contest

Lou Franzinim, St. Augustine, Fla.

Miley Cyrus to Have Tongue Reduction Surgery

Robert Salemi, Gilbert, Ariz.

Iranian Mediators Arrive in Washington to Solve Differences Between Republicans and Democrats

Ryan Croft, San Francisco

"I Am Not God," Kanye Admits

James Smith, Mill Valley, Calif.

Cubs Win World Series

Erin Mauch, Fort Wayne, Ind.

Obama Opts Out of Health-Care Coverage, Chooses to Pay Penalty

Andrew Tuite, Chicago

Putin Named Grand Marshall of Pride Parade

Kathy Tuite, Chicago

Kim Kardashian Still Happily Married

Kathy Carrier, Fort Wayne, Ind.

Recession Over

Jerry Wing, Oak Ridge, Tenn.

Hillary Asks Bill to Be Her Running Mate

Jean L. Peffers, San Antonio

More Than 6 People Lower Medical Costs on Obamacare

Jeff Myers, Barnstable, Mass.

China Forgives U.S. Debt in Exchange for Obamacare Blueprint

Gary Riedmiller, Huachuca City, Ariz.

U.S. Men's Soccer Team Wins a World Cup Match

Jamie Weiss, Cheshire, Conn.

51 Women in U.S. Senate

Maryanne Esgate, Decorah, Iowa

Edward Snowden Fixes Obamacare Website

Matt Marshall, Fayetteville, Ariz.

Beijing to Host Round of Carbon Emission Negotiations

Colton Thomas, St. Petersburg, Fla.

Cleveland Browns Win Super Bowl

Ed Miller, Bay Village, Ohio

El Al Announces Service to Tehran

Kenneth R. Updegrove, Cedaredge, Colo.

Lance Armstrong Wins 2014 Tour de France

Gerry Weatherly, Hiltons, Va.

NSA and Verizon Merge, Adopt New Slogan: “We Can Hear You Now”

Alan Zuckerman, San Diego

Lindsay Lohan Delivers Oscar-winning Performance in Role as a Nun

Patrick D'Andrea, Denver