A bungled wedding day
A panic-stricken British groom called in a bomb scare to a wedding hall where he was supposed to be married that day, after realizing he’d forgotten to reserve it. Neil McArdle, 36, didn’t want his fiancée to realize he had bungled the booking of the wedding, so he phoned the hall on the morning of their big day, telling a receptionist that “a bomb will go off in 45 minutes.” His fiancée arrived at the hall in her wedding dress to find it swarming with bomb squad cops. McArdle now faces a jail sentence. “It may be funny to other people,” he said, “but not to me.”

Who's the fairest of them all?
Jennifer Lopez quit upcoming film The 33—based on the Chilean miners who were trapped underground for 69 days in 2010—after studio executives refused to rule out casting actresses who were prettier than her, said NationalEnquirer.com. The 44-year-old actress was going to play a miner’s sister, but she tried to block producers from hiring attractive women to play wives and girlfriends. “She kept going through casting photos, and whenever she spotted a female who looked too cute or sexy, she’d slash a big, black X across their face with a Sharpie!” said a source. “The girl doesn’t want any competition.”

The thief who forgot to flush
An Oklahoma man was charged with burglary after police allegedly matched his DNA to used toilet paper at the scene of the crime. Police said that Charles Williams used a home’s bathroom while burglarizing it, leaving a mess behind. Williams was then identified from his droppings. That prompted a neighbor to advise Williams: “Flush!”