1. Justin Bieber teases a new single called "Heartbreaker"
Like most broody teenagers, Justin Bieber has been keeping a journal for months — but unlike most teenagers, it's national news when he decides to post an excerpt from it. On Monday night, the Biebs took to Instagram to post an image allegedly culled from his so-called "musical journal," which features a purple crumbling heart alongside the message, "Heartbreaker #Justinbiebernewsingle." Anyone who can't wait for Bieber to post more about his heartbreak is advised to Google "Selena Gomez." [MTV News]
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2. The Kardashian-Humphries divorce is finally over
It's been a long, long ride, but a judgment has finally been issued in the Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries divorce. The onetime couple — who were married for 72 days before spending the following 582 days locked in a contentious divorce battle — have reportedly settled, though the terms of their arrangement were not made public. Consider sending a sympathy card to your favorite tabloid, which will finally have to find something else to write about now. [People]
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3. Al Pacino explains why he turned down the chance to play Han Solo
It's hard to imagine Star Wars without Harrison Ford as Han Solo — but according to Al Pacino, he's the one who deserves an extra hoo-ah for making the part available for Ford. "Star Wars was mine for the taking, but I didn't understand the script," said Pacino during an event at the Palladium in London on Wednesday, proving that there's no offer he can't refuse if it includes words like "Obi-Wan" and "Tatooine." [Evening Standard]
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4. Amazon Instant acquires the rights to Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants
In an apparent attempt to lock down the coveted "too young to pay for things" demographic, Amazon has signed a massive deal with Viacom for the exclusive streaming rights to children's programs like Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, and Blue's Clues. Reuters reports that the deal includes about 4,000 episodes, so toddlers who plan on binge-watching should probably pick up an extra six-pack of juice boxes on their way home from preschool tonight. [Reuters]
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5. Cersei Lannister thought Game of Thrones' Red Wedding was beautiful
In case the tidal wave of shocked reactions on Twitter and Facebook last Sunday didn't tip you off, the most recent episode of Game of Thrones featured some major bloodshed. But while the average viewer reactions ranged from "weeping" to "uncontrollably weeping," the completely unbiased Lena Headey — who plays Cersei Lannister on the HBO fantasy drama — told TMZ that she thought it was a "beautiful episode." Stay turned for her summary of the third season, which she says stars a handsome, charismatic young king who's universally beloved by his subjects. [TMZ]
