The daily gossip: Lindsay Lohan turned down the chance to be roasted on Comedy Central, and more

1. Lindsay Lohan turned down the chance to be roasted on Comedy Central

Over the years, Comedy Central has spent plenty of time roasting the celebrity equivalent of low-hanging fruit, including Roseane Barr, Larry the Cable Guy, and Charlie Sheen. But according to TMZ, one celebrity turned down the chance to be roasted last summer: Lindsay Lohan, who elected, for some reason, not to let C-list celebrities make fun of her bad reviews and rehab stints for an audience of millions. Anyone who would still like to see Lindsay Lohan get roasted can pick up any tabloid and flip to a random page.

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2. Sony is making an Angry Birds movie

We live in an era of films based on board games and TV shows based on Twitter accounts, so it was probably inevitable that someone would eventually take a crack at a film adaptation of the wildly popular iPhone game Angry Birds — even if the concept of a bird hurtling itself into a tower filled with pigs doesn't exactly scream "cinematic." According to The Hollywood Reporter, Sony's feature-length Angry Birds film — which will be in 3D, of course — is scheduled to hit theaters in July 2016. "Every studio in town would love to add Angry Birds to their slate," says Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal in a statement that's as tragic as it is accurate.

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3. Film crew employees won't stop asking Katie Holmes on dates

Since Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise got divorced last year, Holmes has played it fairly quiet on the dating front. But as it turns out, it's not for lack of options: The actress was reportedly asked out seven times by men working on the set of her upcoming movie Mania Days. "They were crew members and extras just chancing it," says a source at the New York Post. "It really got on the nerves of director Paul Dalio. Needless to say, she said no to everyone." But don't feel too bad, guys: It's possible she's still just holding out for Pacey Witter.

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4. Beyonce apologizes for postponing a concert

Earlier this week, Beyonce Knowles postponed a concert for the first time in her career — a decision that led to rampant speculation that she's pregnant again, because there's literally no other reason she would need to take a night off. But whatever the reason, she feels bad about it; according to MTV News, Beyonce took to Facebook on Wednesday to post an apology. "It was very hard for me. I promise I will make it up very soon," says Beyonce — which, given that she signed the letter "see you tonight," seems like a promise that she's likely to keep.

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5. Fast & Furious franchise to be targeted in spoof Superfast!

In an announcement that takes their "comedic" stylings to an even lower low than usual, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer — the minds behind parodies like Epic Movie and Date Movie — have announced that their next film will be Superfast!, a parody of the Fast & Furious franchise (even though it already pretty much parodies itself). "It's a franchise that's crying out for some high octane comedy collisions and these are the guys to get a speeding ticket doing it," says distributor K5 International in a statement at The Wrap. "These guys have no reverse gear. They probably don't have first or second either." And if you thought those car jokes were hilarious, just wait until you see what they have in store for the film.