1. Justin Bieber will be on The Simpsons this Sunday
For years, fans have been complaining that Fox's beloved sitcom The Simpsons has dropped in quality. But if you were disappointed in The Simpsons before, you'll hardly believe what the show has up its sleeve for next week's episode. In a presumptive attempt to reach the coveted "preteen girl" demographic, the series has written in a brief cameo for Justin Bieber, who will appear as himself in this Sunday's "The Fabulous Faker Boy." "He tries to get into a talent show that Bart is playing piano in and they won't admit him," teases executive producer Al Jean at Entertainment Weekly. "Draw your own conclusions." Our conclusion: "Do The Bartman" is on its way to a major comeback.
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2. Even Bill Clinton wants Led Zeppelin to get back together
Fans have been clamoring for legendary rock band Led Zeppelin to get back together for decades, but it's officially time to throw in the towel: If a former U.S. president can't convince them to reunite for a single concert, it's hard to imagine that anyone can. According to the Daily News, Bill Clinton personally reached out to the band in an attempt to reunite them for a Hurricane Sandy benefit concert, saying, "That would be a fantastic thing. I love Led Zeppelin." But despite a whole lotta love, they turned the gig down.
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3. Tom Cruise will star in Mission: Impossible 5
Good evening, reader. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to pretend to be surprised that Paramount Pictures has hired Tom Cruise to star in the next Mission: Impossible movie — even though of course they did, the last one made almost $700 million dollars. But don't rush to theaters just yet, agents; Deadline reports that neither the writer nor the director for Mission: Impossible 5 has been selected, and that a formal release date hasn't even been set. This message will not self-destruct. In fact, it will probably just sit there on your computer screen.
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4. Anne Hathaway dyed her hair blonde
Anne Hathaway may have attracted a fair amount of haters this year, but the Les Miserables star has devised a cunning plan to escape her detractors: Showing up at an event with a short, new platinum-blonde haircut. "Her playful pixie cut looked piecey and edgy tonight, giving off a fierce vibe that corresponded perfectly with the theme," said E! Online, in a sentence that someone was actually paid to write. As with all things Anne Hathaway, we're sure that this new look will attract no commentary or controversy whatsoever.
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5. Honey Boo Boo will be honey back back in July
Make yourself a big, celebratory plate of sketti tonight, Honey Boo Boo fans: After a half-year hiatus, TLC reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is slated to return for a second season on July 17. The reality show, which follows 7-year-old child pageant star Alana Thompson and her family, averaged 2.3 million viewers last fall — despite the fact that absolutely no one will publicly acknowledge watching it. The Los Angeles Times reports that the second season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo might include footage of Boo Boo matriarch Mama June's recent wedding ceremony to longtime beau Sugar Bear, which culminated in the camouflage-clad newlyweds riding off on a yellow ATV together. Because some dreams really do come true.
