Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Vladimir Putin, who smiled and gave two thumbs up as topless female protesters accosted him during a visit to Germany. “I liked it,” said the Russian president, admitting that he didn’t notice “whether they were blondes, chestnut-haired, or brunettes.”

The terminally unpopular, who can now hire weeping professional grievers for wakes and funerals from British startup Rent-A-Mourner. The company says its actors, who cost $68 per head, will read up on the deceased’s life story “so they can converse with other mourners with confidence.”

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Readers of The Week, after the U.S. Postal Service announced it had abandoned, at least for now, plans to end Saturday deliveries.

Bad week for:

The first marriage, after Michelle Obama accidentally referred to herself as a “busy single mother” during a TV interview. The First Lady quickly corrected her Freudian slip, noting that “sometimes when you’ve got the husband who’s president it can feel a little single, but he’s there.”

Target, which was forced to apologize after outraged shoppers noticed the retailer had listed the color of a plus-size dress as “manatee gray.” The average manatee weighs about 1,000 pounds.

Extending your vacation, after a drunken British tourist forced a plane from Cancún to London to make an emergency landing in Florida when he allegedly took a swing at every passenger who looked at him. When last seen, Sean Kelly was shadowboxing alone in an Orlando jail cell, shouting, “Let’s have a go!”