Good week for:
Galactic peace, after the Obama administration rejected an online petition for a real-life version of the Star Wars Death Star. The White House cited the $850 quadrillion construction cost.
Putting in your two cents, after Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas broke his seven-year silence at oral arguments to crack a joke. But because several other justices were also talking at the same time, the official transcript only quotes Thomas saying, “Well—he did not—,” followed by laughter.
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Extra padding, after a 400-pound woman who crashed through a New York City sidewalk survived because her girth cushioned her fall. “They said that my size was the only thing that saved me,” Ulanda Williams said.
Bad week for:
Natural gas, after the Social Security Administration issued, then retracted, an official reprimand to a flatulent staff member. The worker was told that his gas-passing constituted “conduct unbecoming a federal employee,” until higher-ups withdrew the rebuke.
Oxygen Media, after public disgust prompted the cable TV network to pull a new reality TV show called All My Babies’ Mamas, about a rap artist who has 11 children with 10 women.
Following instructions, after a faulty car-navigation system sent a Belgian woman on an 1,800-mile detour through six countries. Sabine Moreau, 67, had intended to drive 93 miles to Brussels, but ended up in Croatia. “Suddenly I appeared in Zagreb,” she said, “and I realized I wasn’t in Belgium anymore.”
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