Feature

The Week contest - Underemployed grads

Jamie Fox, a British 22-year-old college graduate with a degree in music, just took a job with a farmer, playing an accordion and a ukulele to scare birds away from his crops. Please come up with a name for his new profession that would help justify a $200,000 college degree

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Big Bird's resume

Last week's question: It's a rough job market out there for recent college grads — so rough that Jamie Fox, a British 22-year-old college graduate with a degree in music, just took a job with a farmer, playing an accordion and a ukulele to scare birds away from his crops. We asked you to come up with a name for his new profession that would help justify a $200,000 college degree. 

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Creator of Angry BirdsJan Penske, Sellersburg, IN 

SECOND PLACE: Farmland Security OfficerSusan Nichols, Lake George, NY

THIRD PLACE: Vice President in Charge of Aurally Stimulated Aviary DownsizingKathy Parrish, San Diego, CA

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Successful manager of large enterprise dealing with high-risk predatorsPeter Bowen, Marblehead, MA

Agricultural Enhancement StrategistKristen Kansiewicz, Lynn, MA

Aviary Diversion EngineerAlicia Campbell, Milwaukee, WI

Agro-musicologistThom Thacker, Irvington, NY

Field OfficerPaul Witte, New Hope, PA

Air Traffic ControllerJeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Director of Avian RedeploymentRoberta London, Milwaukee, WI

Growth FacilitatorJennifer Kert Ransweiler, Los Angeles, CA

Artist in ResidenceLaurie Gelb, Seattle, WA

ScareproSteven Margles, Winchester, MA

Music Scare-apistCyril Greenbaum, Walnut Creek, CA

Fright AttendantDiane Race, Chapel Hill, NC

Vice President and Managing DeflectorStephen Blackwell, Fennville, MI

MBA (Musical Bird Alarmist)Carol Fischer, Cheboygan, MI

BSM (Bachelor of Scary Music)Victor Sungaila, Watkins Glen, NY

CBO (Chief Bird-shoo Officer)Marsha Einhorn, New York, NY

Wildlife Trouble Foreman (WTF)Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD

Multi-Aspect Avian Auditory Interface and Control TechnologistArthur Lasky, New York, NY

Field Supervisor, Bird ControlMira Osadca, Brooklyn, NY

Organic Pest Control EngineerRandy Nishimura, Lihue, HI

Audio Director of Commodity Loss PreventionJim Groves, St. Louis, MO

Deputy Commander, Psychological Operations Wing, Special Airborne DivisionStephen Dudzik, Olney, MD

Plant Materials SpecialistStephanie Sarich, Minnetonka, MN

CorngressmanJim Topper, Turtle Creek, PA

Recommended

Joint Chiefs Chair Milley explains why he didn't resign over Afghanistan withdrawal
Mark Milley.
part of the job

Joint Chiefs Chair Milley explains why he didn't resign over Afghanistan withdrawal

The heart of the Evergrande crisis
Xi Jinping.
Picture of Noah MillmanNoah Millman

The heart of the Evergrande crisis

Trump gave order to withdraw all troops from Afghanistan by Jan. 15, Milley confirms
Mark Milley.
milley testifies

Trump gave order to withdraw all troops from Afghanistan by Jan. 15, Milley confirms

New chancellor at Kabul University bans women from campus
An Afghan girl sits in an empty classroom.
going backwards

New chancellor at Kabul University bans women from campus

Most Popular

Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman almost make it through interview without awkwardness
Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman
Last Night on Late Night

Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman almost make it through interview without awkwardness

7 cartoons about America's vaccine fights
Editorial Cartoon.
Feature

7 cartoons about America's vaccine fights

Democrats are governing like Republicans
A donkey.
Picture of W. James Antle IIIW. James Antle III

Democrats are governing like Republicans