The Week contest - Revenge of the Quebecers

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: The United Nations of America

This week's question: Burlington, Vt., restaurants are adding 18 percent to the bills of French-speaking diners on the grounds that Quebecers are "bad tippers." We asked you if restaurants in Quebec were to retaliate, how would they get even with American tourists?

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RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Serve French-sized portions

Janna Cohen, Stone Ridge, NY

SECOND PLACE: American customers seated only if they can find Quebec on a map

Chris O'Connor, Hermosa Beach, CA

THIRD PLACE: "La Marseillaise" played at random intervals. Standing required.

John Walsh, Mercer Island, WA

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Americans required to mime their orders

Sam Yoder, Portland, OR

Waiters do their best Nutty Professor, in French

Bill DuPre, Raleigh, NC

Ice: $1 per cube

Paul Hlavac, Lake Bluff, IL

All TV sets set to the curling channel

Ken Kellam III, Dallas, TX

No deep-fried foods served

Andrew Hogan, Jamesville, NY

18% maintenance fee for overstressed chairs

Richard Block, Valencia, CA

All Americans must wear berets

Sheldon Benardo, Bronx, NY

Customers must say, "I love the French," to order fries

Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD

Corn syrup substituted for maple on breakfast pancakes

Mel Raab, Beverly Hills, CA

Free Poutine!

Ian Stedman, Chatsworth, CA

Free French wine with every meal. Sodas and ice tea, $10. (No free refills)

Pete Brown, Tucson, AS

Everything on menu contains escargot

Sarah G. Storm, Ventura, CA

18% surcharge for elastic-waist pants

Debra Hull, Bethany, WV

Mandatory iPhone valet service

Shannon Pryor, Lexington, KY

No "All You Can Eat" Buffets

Mark Weaver, Redondo Beach, CA

English speaking waiter: 20% surcharge

Matt Gough, Sunnyvale, CA

18% gratuity added to diners who mispronounce French wines

Julia R. Suarez, Plano, TX

Ketchup not served

Carl Keitner, Barrington, RI

Baseball caps removed upon being seated

Mort Oakes, Dover, PA

Diners must watch "Honey Boo Boo" show while they eat

Jerry Martzell, Greenville, OH

American parents required to tie their children to the chairs so they don't run around

Cindy Stone, Nashville, TN

Raise the price of Canadian bacon

Alex Charney, Mendham, NJ

Serve American food

Joel Slutsky, Alstead, NH