Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Eating lunch in the bathroom, after a new study found that the most germ-filled office surfaces are your desktop and the table in the break room. “There’s 400 times more bacteria on an office desktop than the toilet seat,” said microbiologist Charles Gerba.

Car dealers in Silicon Valley, after Facebook’s initial public offering turned hundreds of 20-somethings into instant millionaires. Million-dollar mansions are selling over the asking price, and one local businessman reported that “Ferrari lines are pretty long.”

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Unfriending your spouse, after a survey by a British legal firm found that over a third of divorce filings in 2011 contained the word “Facebook.”

Bad week for:

Karma, after Alexander Galarza, 27, of Florida was arrested for allegedly smashing a car windshield during a domestic dispute by hurling a statue of the Buddha.

The unfettered free market, after a British auction house accepted bids on a vial of Ronald Reagan’s blood, drawn while he was being treated for an assassination attempt. Said the anonymous seller: “I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that President Reagan himself would rather see me sell it.”

Owls, hundreds of which are being abandoned by British Harry Potter fans who wanted a pet like Harry’s Hedwig, but then found it difficult to take care of them. Said owl rescue specialist Pam Toothill: “I know it’s not J.K. Rowling’s fault, but people didn’t think enough about buying an owl before getting one.”