Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Bragging, after Vice President Joe Biden told a tittering audience that President Obama “has a big stick, I promise you.” The assumption was that Biden was referring to President Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Begging, after New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said that Mitt Romney “might be able to convince me” to join him as the vice presidential nominee on the Republican ticket, despite his love for New Jersey. “He’s a convincing guy,” explained Christie.

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Ordering the salad, after a new report found that cars driven by Americans are burning up almost 1 billion additional gallons of gas a year because so many of us are overweight.

Bad week for:

Italians, after the government’s recent crackdown on tax evaders netted the nation a whopping $7.9 billion in owed taxes. Some stores and businesses failed to file any tax returns at all, saying they simply forgot.

Tempting fate, after Australian billionaire Clive Palmer announced plans to build the Titanic II, a modern version of the infamous ocean liner, with a launch date of 2016. “It is going to be designed so it won’t sink,” Palmer said.

Too much information, after the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., live-tweeted the artificial insemination of its giant panda, Mei Xiang, noting that doctors “are inserting a thin tube about 12 inches into Mei filled with sperm.” A link to a photo followed. Tweeted a follower: “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”