Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Calling off the wedding, after a South African couple who dated for five years found out they were brother and sister who’d been separated in childhood. The truth emerged when the couple’s families gathered to discuss wedding plans.

Instant karma, after Victor Giesbrecht, 61, stopped on a Wisconsin highway to help a stranger, Sara Berg, change a tire. After he drove off, Giesbrecht suffered a heart attack; Berg then stopped her car, and saved his life by performing CPR.

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Appeasing an apparently angry Deity, after the House of Representatives took time out from its work on the budget deficit, soaring unemployment, and other pressing problems to reaffirm, by a vote of 396–9, that the national motto is “In God We Trust.”

Bad week for:

The war on Christmas, after Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker declared that the tree set up in the Capitol Rotunda this December will be known as a “Christmas tree,” instead of a holiday tree.

The NBA, after only 12 percent of people polled said they missed pro basketball now that the start of the season has been canceled because of a contract impasse between players and owners.

Whining, after convicted pedophile Eric Harris sued the Florida prison system for serving meals that are 50 percent soy protein. Harris says that the soy is giving him stomach cramps, and that depriving him of beef and pork during his life sentence constitutes “cruel and unusual” punishment.