Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

A really close shave, after an Oregon company began selling a razor for $100,000. The Zafirro Iridium features solid white-sapphire blades that are sharpened to 5,000 times thinner than the width of a hair and will supposedly last forever.

Police dogs, after German police scrapped an experiment to locate bodies with trained vultures instead of sniffer dogs. “Everyone knows what vultures do when they find a body,” explained one official. “You could find half the evidence disappearing down their beaks.”

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Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, after the competitive eater won the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at New York’s Coney Island by wolfing down 62 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes.

Bad week for:

Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, whose binge loaded up his digestive and cardiovascular systems with 19,158 calories, 1,246 grams of fat, 2,170 grams of cholesterol, and 42,408 milligrams of sodium.

Ian Cole of Michigan, after a tour boat left him behind as he snorkeled in the shark-infested waters of Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. “I lifted my head to get my bearings, and there is no boat,” Cole said, admitting he panicked. Another boat picked him up.

Sneaky dog owners, after a New Hampshire apartment complex required dog owners to submit a DNA sample from their pets, so that any unscooped poop can be traced. Some owners are calling the policy “ridiculous,” says the complex’s manager, “and I’m sure those are the people who are doing it.”