Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Getting more than you bargained for, after tourists on a boat tour off Newfoundland witnessed a pod of killer whales attack, kill, and devour a minke whale. “They were blown away,” said tour guide Chris Shortall, “and a little mortified.”

Jarhead, as a black bear cub in Florida is now called, after state wildlife officials trapped him, sedated him, and pulled off the jar that had been stuck on his head for 10 days. The bear had put his head in the jar while rummaging through some trash.

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Fighting your parking ticket, after San Francisco officials realized that cameras designed to spot illegally parked cars were not adjusted for daylight savings time. More than 500 drivers received erroneous tickets.

Bad week for:

Trusting in government, after Congress passed and President Obama signed the “______Act of____.” The nameless legislation provides $26 billion in emergency aid to states, but in its haste to pass the measure, the Senate failed to fill in its title.

Driving while rich, after a man driving a Mercedes was caught by Swiss police driving at 180 mph—105 mph over the limit. He faces a world-record fine of $1 million, because the Swiss determine fines by the speed, along with the driver’s personal worth.

The Czech Republic, after the bankrupt North Korean government offered to pay a portion of its $10 million debt to that Central European country with 400 tons of ginseng. Czech officials asked for zinc ore instead.