John Mayer can’t control what comes out of his mouth, says Erik Hedegaard in Rolling Stone. “I sometimes wonder what the f--- I’m doing,” he says. “I have these mistakes, these accidents, these self-inflicted wounds, and then I’ll tear myself to shreds about it for days. But I’m just going to say more s--- like it. It’s a compulsion.” Out of the blue, for example, the pop musician volunteers that he is a serial masturbator, noting that Tiger Woods would be better off today if he could say the same. “I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.” An infamous ladies’ man, he talks too much about his famous current and ex-girlfriends, confessing that he never got to have sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt because of a case of food poisoning. When he broke up with the widely admired Jennifer Aniston last year, he declared, “I burned the American flag. I basically murdered an ideal.” He often has nightmares about seeing some embarrassing story about himself in the supermarket tabloids. “But then it occurred to me: ‘John’—if I can use my own name—‘The only reason you’re going through these trials is because you’re brave enough to say, “I don’t want to detach. I don’t want to go live in a gated community.”’ So I will continue to make these worldwide dignity mistakes as often as it takes to not make them anymore.”

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