The Oscars are boring — and there's no way to save them
A self-congratulatory evening for a small Hollywood subset just can't entertain millions and millions of people
With 24 awards to parcel out in three-plus hours, the Academy Awards should feel rushed — but as anyone who actually stuck with last night's telecast can attest, a brisk pace wasn't exactly the problem. Last night's 87th annual Academy Awards ceremony was one of the dullest in recent memory, packed with dead-end gags, interminable musical numbers, and a surprisingly flat performance from host Neil Patrick Harris. Once again, the Oscars failed to deliver a show that anyone beyond Hollywood diehards should bother watching — and if that surprises you, you haven't been paying attention.
There are some factors that can play a modest role in livening up an Oscar telecast. Producers, who dictate the structure and flow of the ceremony, play the largest role in shaping the overall flow of the evening. Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, who produced last night's ceremony (and the previous two), are notable mainly for their annoying insistence in shoehorning tributes to Hollywood musicals into an already bloated ceremony. Last night, it was Lady Gaga belting out a medley of songs from The Sound of Music — a show-stopping performance in every sense, its relative quality offset by its poor timing, as the clock ticked toward midnight on the East Coast with seven major awards left to present.
The second influencer is the host, who serves as the public face of the Oscar telecast and sets the tone for the evening. Neil Patrick Harris, who had already hosted pretty much everything except the Oscars, seemed like an ideal choice. But after a strong opening number, Harris was failed by some seriously hacky joke writing. (Smirking about it didn't do him any favors either.) And the naked desperation for a spontaneous, viral moment to rival Ellen's famed Oscar selfie led to the night's most dismal moments — particularly a bit in which Harris wandered the aisles, saying hello to random seat-fillers with no apparent plan for the conversation to follow.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
The last (and arguably most important) factor is entirely outside the control of the producers or the host: the quality and popularity of the movies nominated. Some years, you get a mainstream Best Picture frontrunner like Titanic or The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King; some years, you get an indie favorite like Million Dollar Baby or The Hurt Locker or Birdman, which many home viewers haven't seen. One of last night's central bits riffed on both Birdman and Whiplash — two movies that grossed under $50 million combined. That's less than one-sixth of the gross earned by also-ran American Sniper — which, as Neil Patrick Harris noted, has earned more alone than the other seven nominees earned combined. That's a lot of assumed cultural knowledge just to make the punchline of a joke land.
In theory, the platonic ideal of the Oscar ceremony would come down to three factors: a well-planned production, a perfectly chosen host, and a popular, critically beloved Best Picture winner. But even under those incredibly unlikely circumstances, the Oscar ceremony would merely be a very good version of a very draggy, very compromised show.
The truth of the matter is that a really great Oscar telecast is functionally impossible. There are too many competing interests at play. There's no way to make an insular, self-congratulatory evening for a small subset of Hollywood into something that can entertain millions and millions of viewers across the country. It's a big, unwieldy ship; the best the crew can do is hope not to drown.
The 87th annual Academy Awards are over, but watch: The cycle you're seeing now will repeat itself verbatim next year. Vocal fans of a particular movie — like, say, Selma or American Sniper — will fume at its failure to win Best Picture. Film nerds like me will rail at the decision to sequester moments that actually deal with Hollywood history, like the Lifetime Achievement Awards, to a separate ceremony, depriving some of the industry's greatest figures of widespread public recognition in favor of gags and musical numbers. The Academy will fret, desperately, over the ongoing (and losing) battle to attract younger viewers. No one will be wholly satisfied. And all of us will continue to complain that the Oscars aren't what we want them to be, secure in the knowledge that they'll never actually get there.
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Scott Meslow is the entertainment editor for TheWeek.com. He has written about film and television at publications including The Atlantic, POLITICO Magazine, and Vulture.
-
'A new era of hurricanes'
Today's Newspapers A roundup of the headlines from the US front pages
By The Week Staff Published
-
How Britain's demographic is changing
A 50-year record population increase was fuelled by greater migration
By Richard Windsor, The Week UK Published
-
The story of Japanese jeweller Tasaki
The Blend A revival in the use of pearls in fashion and jewellery design places heritage brand Tasaki centre stage
By Felix Bischof Published
-
Walter Isaacson's 'Elon Musk' can 'scarcely contain its subject'
The latest biography on the elusive tech mogul is causing a stir among critics
By Theara Coleman Published
-
Welcome to the new TheWeek.com!
The Explainer Please allow us to reintroduce ourselves
By Jeva Lange Published
-
The Oscars finale was a heartless disaster
The Explainer A calculated attempt at emotional manipulation goes very wrong
By Jeva Lange Last updated
-
Most awkward awards show ever?
The Explainer The best, worst, and most shocking moments from a chaotic Golden Globes
By Brendan Morrow Published
-
The possible silver lining to the Warner Bros. deal
The Explainer Could what's terrible for theaters be good for creators?
By Jeva Lange Last updated
-
Jeffrey Wright is the new 'narrator voice'
The Explainer Move over, Sam Elliott and Morgan Freeman
By Jeva Lange Published
-
This week's literary events are the biggest award shows of 2020
feature So long, Oscar. Hello, Booker.
By Jeva Lange Published
-
What She Dies Tomorrow can teach us about our unshakable obsession with mortality
The Explainer This film isn't about the pandemic. But it can help viewers confront their fears about death.
By Jeva Lange Published