Why the identities of Ashley Madison's clients are none of your business

Even adulterers deserve their privacy

Enough is enough.
(Image credit: Illustration by Sarah Eberspacher | Photo courtesy Getty Images)

Let me start by saying this: What happens in your marriage is none of my damn business. Cheating on spouses is as old as the institution of having spouses, and while I believe very strongly in the sanctity of promises and one's word, I also know that I'm not sleeping in your bed.

I further know that the recent Ashley Madison data dump — ostensibly a lot of information about a lot of terrible spouses — tells us nearly nothing about the people involved (other than that they were almost exclusively men and thus probably didn't actually do much Ashley Madison-facilitated cheating). We don't know who's a raging asshole, who's in an open marriage, who sought discrete physical pleasure while staying emotionally loyal to a partner who cannot have sex, or who signed up in a paroxysm of anger and regretted it the next day. The only people who know what's going on in a marriage are the people in that marriage (and sometimes not even them), and the infidelities of strangers are none of anyone else's business.

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