The sheer brilliance of Hallmark's corny Christmas movies

How cheap, earnest, made-for-TV movies are thriving in the golden age of television

Sappy Hallmark movies are a staple of Christmas.
(Image credit: Courtesy of Hallmark Channel)

It's Christmastime, and a woman — invariably pretty, invariably in her thirties, invariably played by an actress you kind of remember from something — has a problem. Maybe she's engaged to an uptight, work-obsessed "catch" with a Bluetooth permanently screwed into one ear. Maybe she's spent much of her adult life avoiding home, and the mother who constantly reminds her "it's time she found a man." Maybe she was just fired from a job she didn't really like anyway.

But don't worry. She'll be fine. She's going to meet the man of her dreams. You'll know it's him as soon as he arrives, because he's handsome, and he listens to her, and he's not wearing a Bluetooth. If she's really lucky, Santa, an elf, or an angel may even pop up to guide her down the path to happiness in time for Christmas Eve.

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