Why America should absolutely buy Greenland

Never say that Donald Trump has no good ideas

President Trump holding two bags of money to buy Greenland.
(Image credit: Illustrated | lantapix/iStock, Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images, Michael Burrell/iStock)

Never say that Donald Trump has no ideas. He's actually full of them, and many are interesting. Is there really a single red-blooded American who doesn't want us to be the first country with a Space Force? (This, I think, explains why so many fans of Andrew "Legion of Builders and Destroyers" Yang are former Trump supporters.)

The president's latest scheme is reportedly buying Greenland. This is, in fact, a brilliant idea. There are a lot of reasons for this. The first is simply that Greenland is an impossibly cool place. It is the world's largest island. It has glaciers, whales, walruses, polar bears, and the mighty musk ox. They also have the Slædepatruljen Sirius ("Sirius Sled Dog Patrol"), an elite naval reconnaissance unit that is one of the hardest special forces in the world to join. The warriors of the Sirius Patrol are required to have world-class expertise in an unbelievably long list of military, technical, and other skills, including sewing. Tell me you don't want the United States to have something like this.

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