How the gender education gap is impacting dating

More and more women are "marrying down" when it comes to education, said The Atlantic. Marriages had been moving in a "more egalitarian direction" since the mid-20th century, when more women began attending university and entering the job market.

But now the trend of women "partnering up with their educational equals" seems to be reversing, with a growing number practicing "hypogamy" – wedding someone of a lower social class or education level.

Too picky?

Women now outnumber men in higher education in almost all developed countries. In the UK, more women were accepted into university than men for the first time in 1996, and that gap has only grown; in 2024, female students outnumbered male students by 28%, according to government figures.

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While women's educational advancement is a "cause for celebration", it's also causing "issues" when it comes to heterosexual relationships, said The Independent. There has been an increase in "assortative mating", where people want their potential partners to have the same education level as them, as well as having similar attitudes in areas like politics, personal habits and finances.

A 2023 study from the US-based Institute for Family Studies found 45% of single women with a degree said their relationship status was due to an "inability to find someone who met their expectations", said the paper.

In her book "Motherhood on Ice: the Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze their Eggs", Yale professor Marcia Inhorn said the women she spoke to were having trouble finding partners who fulfilled the "three 'E's: eligible, educated, equal". And it appears they're not just being "too picky". As part of the study, polling expert Daniel A. Cox surveyed more than 5,000 people, and found his interviews with the male participants "dispiriting"; many were "limited in their ability and willingness to be fully emotionally present and available".

'Romantic pessimism'

Women's academic success, coupled with the "male breadwinner norm" that remains a lingering "cultural anchor", gives the "shrinking pool of more successful men tremendous power", said Sarah Bernstein in The New York Times. Social media is "rife with male fantasies", including "beautiful, submissive tradwives" embracing traditional gender roles. But while a small group of rich, successful men are "reaping the benefits", others find themselves struggling to compete in the dating market. "Enter the manosphere", a space filled with "romantic pessimism" and the idea that "modern women are not to be trusted".

And women themselves are feeling "similarly despondent" about dating. In fact, according to a study by the Survey Center on American Life, 41% of single people in 2023 had "no interest in dating at all".

It's "too soon" to know whether this "gulf in attitudes" among young people today will negatively impact the already "tumbling birth rates", said The Economist. But "early signs are discouraging". Policymakers must tackle the "underlying problems that are driving young men and women apart", starting with figuring out how to make education work for underperforming boys at school.

It's not all bad, though. There is some evidence that beliefs are "evolving", said The Atlantic. Christine Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Wisconsin, analysed data from the World Values Survey and found that in the countries where hypogamy is more prevalent, people were less likely to agree with the statement "if a woman earns more money than her husband, it's almost certain to cause problems".

And while hypogamous marriages used to be more likely than others to end in divorce, recent analyses of marriages in Europe and the US suggests this is "no longer the case". These trends don't necessarily prove a major shift is under way. "But they might offer a reason to be cautiously optimistic about society's ability to adjust to new realities."