Stephen Colbert explains how Jeff Bezos could use Amazon's MGM purchase to get revenge on Trump

"President Biden will have his first one-on-one meeting with Vladimir Putin on June 16," Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's Tonight Show. "It's s nice reminder that after a year in quarantine, you're gonna have to see some people you don't like." In happier news, he said, "half of all adults in the U.S. are now fully vaccinated. That's right, half of America is vaccinated, while the other half uses Facebook."

YouTube YouTube
Watch On

Stephen Colbert's top COVID-19 news was, once again, the imminent return of his Late Show audience, a development so important it merited a mention in Politico's Playbook, though "they ran it with a small typo." His audience will not be "anti-Semitic," he assured everyone. "I'm not sure where this came from, but I'll check with our new publicist, Marjorie Taylor Greene."

Subscribe to The Week

Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE
https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/flexiimages/jacafc5zvs1692883516.jpg

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

Sign up

Colbert described Greene as "a QAnon-believing professional troll whose only motivation is making people talk about her," then spent the next few minutes talking about her terrible Holocaust analogy.

"In rich people news," Jeff Bezos is reportedly in talks to buy MGM for $9 billion, Colbert said, giving Amazon "a treasure trove of show-biz titles, including the James Bond franchise. First up, changing Die Another Day to Die in Two Days Free With Amazon Prime!"

"Why would one of the world's richest men pay almost twice the value for a struggling movie studio that recently went bankrupt?" Colbert asked. Well, "all the outtakes from The Apprentice are owned by MGM," and if the reports are true that Bezos' nemesis, former President Donald Trump, said horribly racist things in those outtakes, "someday soon Bezos may release the most racist thing in the MGM catalog, other than Gone With the Wind." He suggested Bezos "release it all on Amazon Prime as the follow-up to Fleabag, D-Bag."

YouTube YouTube
Watch On

Jimmy Kimmel recounted in detail his most recent "squabble with the Senate's least-favorite senator, Ted Cruz." He conceded he probably started it by saying Cruz, "Trump's Theon Greyjoy," had no standing to call the U.S. Army "emasculated." "Anyway, apparently I was mean to Ted and he's very upset," Kimmel said, "and if history is any indication, he's so upset that means he'll be washing my car this weekend."

Peter Weber, The Week US

Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.