The Week contest: Lawsuit song

This week's question: A California man is suing Madonna for subjecting him to "pornography without warning," claiming he was left traumatized by suggestive onstage dancing at one of the Queen of Pop's recent concerts. If Madonna were to rewrite one of her hits to address the plaintiff's claims, what title should she give the song?
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Lagoon lot
RESULTS:
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Like a Virgin (Shocked by His Very First Show)"
Judith Wilkison, Martinsville, Indiana
SECOND PLACE: "Open Your Heart, Cover Your Eyes"
Erica Avery, Greenfield, Massachusetts
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "Papa, Just Don’t Peek"
Stephanie Sarich, Minnetonka, Minnesota
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Repress Yourself"
John Parry, Eldersburg, Maryland
"Material (That May Be Offensive to Some) Girl"
John Bregoli, Weymouth, Massachusetts
"Suggestive Material Girl"
Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia
"Like You Thought I Was a Virgin!"
John Parry, Fort Wayne, Indiana
"Who’s That Girl? (Like I Didn't Know When I Bought the Ticket)"
Geral Smith, Palmyra, New York
"XXXpress Yourself"
Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia
"Lustify My Love"
G. Cogswell, Micco, Florida
"Court Order Line"
Kevin Korpi, New Braunfels, Texas
-
One great cookbook: ‘The Woks of Life’
The Week Recommends A family’s opinionated, reliable take on all kinds of Chinese cooking
-
Digital addiction: the compulsion to stay online
In depth What it is and how to stop it
-
Can Trump bully Netanyahu into Gaza peace?
Today's Big Question The Israeli leader was ‘strong-armed’ into new peace deal
-
Quiz of The Week: 27 September – 3 October
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week’s news?
-
Magazine solutions - October 10, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 10, 2025
-
Magazine printables - October 10, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 10, 2025
-
The Week contest: Regime love
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Quiz of The Week: 20 – 26 September
Have you been paying attention to The Week’s news?
-
The Week contest: Stone scam
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Magazine solutions - October 3, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 3, 2025
-
Magazine printables - October 3, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 3, 2025