The Week contest: Lawsuit song

This week's question: A California man is suing Madonna for subjecting him to "pornography without warning," claiming he was left traumatized by suggestive onstage dancing at one of the Queen of Pop's recent concerts. If Madonna were to rewrite one of her hits to address the plaintiff's claims, what title should she give the song?
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Lagoon lot
RESULTS:
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Like a Virgin (Shocked by His Very First Show)"
Judith Wilkison, Martinsville, Indiana
SECOND PLACE: "Open Your Heart, Cover Your Eyes"
Erica Avery, Greenfield, Massachusetts
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "Papa, Just Don’t Peek"
Stephanie Sarich, Minnetonka, Minnesota
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Repress Yourself"
John Parry, Eldersburg, Maryland
"Material (That May Be Offensive to Some) Girl"
John Bregoli, Weymouth, Massachusetts
"Suggestive Material Girl"
Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia
"Like You Thought I Was a Virgin!"
John Parry, Fort Wayne, Indiana
"Who’s That Girl? (Like I Didn't Know When I Bought the Ticket)"
Geral Smith, Palmyra, New York
"XXXpress Yourself"
Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia
"Lustify My Love"
G. Cogswell, Micco, Florida
"Court Order Line"
Kevin Korpi, New Braunfels, Texas
-
Calls for both calm and consequences follow Kirk killing
TALKING POINTS The suspected assassination of far-right activist Charlie Kirk has some public figures pleading for restraint, while others agitate for violent reprisals
-
Why does Donald Trump keeping showing up at major sporting events?
Today's Big Question Trump has appeared at the Super Bowl, the Daytona 500 and other events
-
‘Democracy is under threat globally’
Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
Quiz of The Week: 30 August – 5 September
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
Quiz of The Week: 23 – 29 August
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
The Week contest: Rock grandfather
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Magazine solutions - September 5 / September 12, 2025
Puzzle and Quizzes Issue - September 5 / September 12, 2025
-
Magazine printables - September 5 / September 12, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - September 5 / September 12, 2025
-
Quiz of The Week: 16 – 22 August
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
Magazine solutions - August 29, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - August 29, 2025
-
Magazine printables - August 29, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - August 29, 2025