The Week contest: Pay wedding

This week's question: A Houston groom has gone viral after fuming online about how his friends and family are refusing to pay a $450 entry fee for his upcoming wedding. In seven or fewer words, come up with a diplomatic RSVP message that a guest might send to explain why they will not be shelling out to attend the nuptials.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Hobbyhorse movie
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Dearly beloved, you aren't that beloved"
Matthew Clay Lane, Emporia, Kansas
SECOND PLACE: "Regrets, but count me in for funeral"
Ann Dunsky, Thomaston, Connecticut
THIRD PLACE: "Thank you, but go fund yourself"
Mary Albertelli, Wellesley, Massachusetts
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"It's not you, it’s fee"
Suzanne Wilmot, Lawrence, Kansas
"Sorry, I now require $500 appearance fee"
Bill Winslow, Alexandria, Virginia
"With deepest regrets and shallowest pockets"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"First repay $200k spent raising you. – Dad"
Jane Lordeman, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
"I’ll send $450 later for the divorce"
Peter Gordon, Great Neck, New York
"We have a bankruptcy hearing that day"
Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Indiana
"Sorry, kids need to eat that weekend"
Robert Berest, Manhasset, New York
"I'm just not that into you"
Dan Schwerin, Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
"You may now kiss the backside"
Joel Nelson, Goleta, California
"Can't attend the big event, unless you want to pay my rent"
John R. Bregoli, Braintree, Massachusetts
"May you have the reception you deserve"
Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Massachusetts
"Can't attend wedding. Will miss you mooch"
Tom Koloski, Ardsley, New York
"Can't give you anything but love, baby"
Claude Offenbacher, Eugene, Oregon
"Regrets — we have debts!"
Lavinia Ycas, Boulder, Colorado
"My money has other plans. Sorry!"
James Lister Smith, Delancey, New York
"Wedding entry: $450. Loss of Friendship: Priceless"
Rick Heislein, Bolton, Massachusetts
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
-
The rise and rise of VTubers
Under The Radar This anime-inspired internet subculture is going global
By Abby Wilson
-
Book reviews: 'The Thinking Machine: Jensen Huang, Nvidia, and the World’s Most Coveted Microchip' and 'Who Is Government? The Untold Story of Public Service'
Feature The tech titan behind Nvidia's success and the secret stories of government workers
By The Week US
-
Mario Vargas Llosa: The novelist who lectured Latin America
Feature The Peruvian novelist wove tales of political corruption and moral compromise
By The Week US
-
The Week contest: Robot melodrama
Puzzles and Quizzes
By The Week US
-
Magazine solutions - April 25, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - April 25, 2025
By The Week US
-
Magazine printables - April 25, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - April 25, 2025
By The Week US
-
Quiz of The Week: 12 - 17 April
Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
By The Week Staff
-
Quiz of The Week: 5 - 11 April
Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
By The Week Staff
-
Magazine solutions - April 18, 2025
Feature Issue - April 18, 2025
By The Week US
-
Magazine printables - April 18, 2025
Feature Issue - April 18, 2025
By The Week US
-
The Week contest: Virginia aliens
Puzzles and Quizzes
By The Week US