The Week contest: Pay wedding

This week's question: A Houston groom has gone viral after fuming online about how his friends and family are refusing to pay a $450 entry fee for his upcoming wedding. In seven or fewer words, come up with a diplomatic RSVP message that a guest might send to explain why they will not be shelling out to attend the nuptials.

Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Hobbyhorse movie

RESULTS:

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THE WINNER: "Dearly beloved, you aren't that beloved"

Matthew Clay Lane, Emporia, Kansas

SECOND PLACE: "Regrets, but count me in for funeral"

Ann Dunsky, Thomaston, Connecticut

THIRD PLACE: "Thank you, but go fund yourself"

Mary Albertelli, Wellesley, Massachusetts

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

"It's not you, it’s fee"

Suzanne Wilmot, Lawrence, Kansas

"Sorry, I now require $500 appearance fee"

Bill Winslow, Alexandria, Virginia

"With deepest regrets and shallowest pockets"

Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California

"First repay $200k spent raising you. – Dad"

Jane Lordeman, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

"I’ll send $450 later for the divorce"

Peter Gordon, Great Neck, New York

"We have a bankruptcy hearing that day"

Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Indiana

"Sorry, kids need to eat that weekend"

Robert Berest, Manhasset, New York

"I'm just not that into you"

Dan Schwerin, Sun Prairie, Wisconsin

"You may now kiss the backside"

Joel Nelson, Goleta, California

"Can't attend the big event, unless you want to pay my rent"

John R. Bregoli, Braintree, Massachusetts

"May you have the reception you deserve"

Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Massachusetts

"Can't attend wedding. Will miss you mooch"

Tom Koloski, Ardsley, New York

"Can't give you anything but love, baby"

Claude Offenbacher, Eugene, Oregon

"Regrets — we have debts!"

Lavinia Ycas, Boulder, Colorado

"My money has other plans. Sorry!"

James Lister Smith, Delancey, New York

"Wedding entry: $450. Loss of Friendship: Priceless"

Rick Heislein, Bolton, Massachusetts