Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan had two big announcements today. The first: They're having a baby girl. The second: Priscilla had three miscarriages before reaching a point in her pregnancy where the chances are now very slim of a reoccurrence.
Their miscarriage news is huge not because it's rare, but because it's so rarely talked about. Though the American Pregnancy Association says as many as a quarter of all pregnancies end in miscarriages, women aren't exactly eager to shout from the rooftops that they lost a baby. But in Zuckerberg and Chan's Facebook post, they expressed their hope that their announcement will help other women to share their stories.
"You feel so hopeful when you learn you're going to have a child. You start imagining who they'll become and dreaming of hopes for their future. You start making plans, and then they're gone. It's a lonely experience. Most people don't discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you — as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle on your own.In today's open and connected world, discussing these issues doesn't distance us; it brings us together. It creates understanding and tolerance, and it gives us hope.When we started talking to our friends, we realized how frequently this happened — that many people we knew had similar issues and that nearly all had healthy children after all.We hope that sharing our experience will give more people the same hope we felt and will help more people feel comfortable sharing their stories as well." [Facebook]
It might already be working. "Congratulations Mark!!!" one commenter wrote below the post. "And thanks for sharing your story. I've also dealt with years of fertility struggles and loss, and it often feels like a incredibly lonely and isolating experience. I've only found recently that by opening up more about these hardships that you find many others with similar experiences […] Good luck with everything and enjoy fatherhood. Hope our kids can play together one day."
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