Stephen Colbert doesn't want to hear about the Islamic State anymore. "Here's the deal: If you want to live in the 7th century, you don't get to be on TV," he said on Thursday's Late Show. But he did want to talk about the fight over Syrian refugees. After ISIS's attack on Paris, "the question over whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue," he said, "completely overshadowing the old political issue: whether to let Mexicans into this country." It's all anyone is talking about in Washington and on the campaign trail, he added, "so let's wander blindly onto the news tarmac and get sucked into one of the fear engines."
He poked a little fun at President Obama for mocking the Republican presidential candidates' purported fear of orphans and 3-year-old refugees, noting that the Republicans are actually scared of the adults who accompany those toddlers, then adding: "Why shouldn't we be scared of 3-year-olds? You think you can't negotiate with terrorists? Try negotiating with a 3-year-old. They play hardball." But mostly he chided the Republicans for their selective opposition to accepting Syrian refugees.
Donald Trump suggested that the Syrians would prefer to live in a war-ravaged desert than frigid Minnesota, and Jeb Bush and Sen. Ted Cruz only want to let in Christian refugees — because, Colbert said, showing off his knowledge of world religions, Cruz and Bush "know they can relate to your average Syrian Christians — you know, like the Syriac Orthodox." Then he opened up the Good Book and slammed it on Bush, who said Thursday it's easy to prove you're a Christian. Colbert took him up on the challenge: "If you want to know if somebody is Christian, just ask them to complete this sentence: Jesus said, 'I was hungry, you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you....'" he said. "And if they don't say 'welcomed me in,' they are either a terrorist, or they are running for president." Peter Weber