Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert warns that Trump will soon be able to send you unblockable text messages

Stephen Colbert started off Thursday's Late Show with some good news: "Like America, I continue to exist." And he congratulated President-elect Donald Trump on his deal with Carrier to keep 800 jobs in Indiana. "He talked about saving those jobs throughout the election, and he did it," Colbert said. "So Trump is keeping his campaign promises. Congrats to all the factory workers — unless any of you are Muslim, Mexican, or women, because he's going to keep those promises, too."

Then, after a riff on Trump's "teenage girl diplomacy," Colbert delivered the bad news. "It seems like every day there's a new story about Trump's tweets," he began. "It's his main way of communicating now. It's how he's going to talk to the American people, how he's going to comfort us in hard times — you know, his toilet-side chats." The good news is you don't have to read his tweets, Colbert said. "You can unfollow Trump, delete Twitter, go into the world, live your life. But the bad news is, starting Jan. 20, Donald Trump can send unblockable mass text messages to the entire nation."

Presidents have had this authority since 2006, and President Obama hasn't used it once. But Trump? "The only person I would trust less with that technology is Anthony Weiner," Colbert said. "Yes, feel free to block alerts about floods and missing persons, but if Trump wants you to know how he feels about the cast of Hamilton, you will listen." Watch below. Peter Weber