Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump Abroad

Stephen Colbert asks Cartoon Pope Francis if he's sorry for throwing shade at Trump

President Trump is still overseas, Stephen Colbert noted on Wednesday's Late Show. "And he might want to stay over there for a little while, until the firemen can put out his budget proposal. Not only does nobody like it, but it turns out it has a huge mistake in it — not the part about cutting funding for cancer research, that's just one of his passion projects." No, he was talking about the $2 trillion accounting error. "There's a simple explanation for how this happened: Donald Trump is an idiot," Colbert said. "Or he's lying." The fault actually lies with White House budget director Mick Mulvaney, who says the $2 trillion error isn't a mistake, but what fun is that? "Let me see if I can help — here is a basic math lesson for Donald Trump," Colbert said: "If a train leaves Washington, D.C., traveling at 40 mph, please get on it."

Colbert then turned to Trump's visit to the Vatican. "That's exciting — it's one of the few places on Earth with more old white men than his Cabinet," he said. Trump and Pope Francis butted heads over immigration during the presidential campaign, so some people were expecting a tense meeting — and judging from the pope's demeanor, it may have been, he added. But Trump seemed pleased, kind of, saying afterward that the pope "is something." "The pope is, indeed, something," Colbert said. "As Jesus himself said, 'Blessed are the vague, for they shall inherit, you know, stuff.'"

As is traditional, Francis and Trump exchanged gifts, "but the best part of the visit happened at the end," Colbert said, "when the pope threw a little shade at Trump's physique," asking first lady Melania Trump, "What do you give him to eat, potizza?" — a high-calorie pastry from her native Slovenia. "The pope just called the president chubby," Colbert said. "I cannot believe that the infallible vicar of Christ just played the dozens on our president." He turned to Cartoon Pope Francis for some answers, and, well, Cartoon Pope Francis just isn't sorry. Peter Weber