Stephen Colbert has an audacious idea for Trump's next lawyer in the Mueller-Russia investigation

President Trump is rather famously having trouble finding good lawyers to represent him in Special Counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation, and two more prominent attorneys turned him down on Monday, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. Those lawyers and two who backed out Sunday all cited "conflicts," Colbert said, imagining their excuse: "Oh, I'd love to be your lawyer, Donald, but I've got conflicts. It turns out I'm already scheduled to ride a mechanical bull made of cheese graters and then squat in a bowl of gin, and I'd much rather do that."
"Now this next part's weird," Colbert said, pointing to a report that Mueller himself may actually be quietly steering Trump away from conflicted or otherwise harmful legal counsel. "Now if this is true," he said, "then clearly the best lawyer Trump has against Robert Mueller is ... Robert Mueller." He pantomimed Mueller being both Trump's defense lawyer and prosecutor.
Colbert turned to since-confirmed reports that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un traveled to Beijing over the weekend, and he focused on the unusual vehicle that tipped off Kim's journey. "Little is known about this mystery train, hence the name," he said, but when Kim's father, Kim Jong Il, used this slow but bulletproof mode of transport, he had it decked out for lavish parties, heavy drinking, and karaoke. "Now, that sounds fun," Colbert said, "until you're trapped in the dining car with a murderous madman singing 'Crazy Train.'" Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Giant schnauzer wins top prize at Westminster show
Speed Read Monty won best in show at the 149th Westminster Kennel Club dog show
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top Grammys
Speed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own room
Speed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talks
Speed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tour
Speed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamation
Speed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box office
Speed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published