President Trump is rather famously having trouble finding good lawyers to represent him in Special Counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation, and two more prominent attorneys turned him down on Monday, Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. Those lawyers and two who backed out Sunday all cited "conflicts," Colbert said, imagining their excuse: "Oh, I'd love to be your lawyer, Donald, but I've got conflicts. It turns out I'm already scheduled to ride a mechanical bull made of cheese graters and then squat in a bowl of gin, and I'd much rather do that."
"Now this next part's weird," Colbert said, pointing to a report that Mueller himself may actually be quietly steering Trump away from conflicted or otherwise harmful legal counsel. "Now if this is true," he said, "then clearly the best lawyer Trump has against Robert Mueller is ... Robert Mueller." He pantomimed Mueller being both Trump's defense lawyer and prosecutor.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
6 elegant Queen Anne Victorian homesFeature Featuring original diamond-glass doors in New York and a registered historic landmark in Arkansas
-
Starbucks baristas strike over dress codespeed read The new uniform 'puts the burden on baristas' to buy new clothes, said a Starbucks Workers United union delegate
-
US overdose deaths plunged 27% last yearspeed read Drug overdose still 'remains the leading cause of death for Americans aged 18-44,' said the CDC
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wifespeed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
-
Giant schnauzer wins top prize at Westminster showSpeed Read Monty won best in show at the 149th Westminster Kennel Club dog show
-
Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar take top GrammysSpeed Read Beyoncé took home album of the year for 'Cowboy Carter' and Kendrick Lamar's diss track 'Not Like Us' won five awards
-
The Louvre is giving 'Mona Lisa' her own roomSpeed Read The world's most-visited art museum is getting a major renovation
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
