On Thursday we learned that the National Enquirer paid President Trump's former doorman $30,000 during the election for his tale about an alleged love child Trump had with his housekeeper, then killed the story. "Trump might have a secret kid?" Trevor Noah asked on Thursday's Daily Show. "I bet everyone who doesn't know their father right now is panicking. They're phoning their moms, like: 'Tell me it wasn't him, mom, tell me it wasn't him! Tell me it was a crackhead.'"
"Everyone in this story is talking about whether these payoffs constitute illegal campaign contributions — that's why it's big news — but for me, there's a bigger story here," Noah said: "You realize if you were born in the 1980s, you might be Donald Trump's child. Yeah, you could be in line to inherit billions of dollars ... in debt." He ended on Mark Zuckerberg's testimony to Congress, rolling his eyes at Zuckerberg's feigned ignorance of how Facebook works but celebrating that a man was finally apologizing for something other than sexual harassment.
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