Right before Stephen Colbert taped his Late Show monologue on Thursday, the first excerpts from former FBI Director James Comey's new book started leaking, and one passage caught Colbert's eye — Comey's claim that President Trump was obsessed with the salacious parts of the Russia dossier, worried that there was "even a 1 percent chance" Melania Trump might believe the rumors. "Yes, it would bother him, because she'd be off by about 99 percent," Colbert joked. "Oh, come on! Sanctimonious much, James Comey? Not everyone's lucky enough to be in one of those rare, fairy tale marriages with a 100 percent no-hooker-pee-pee guarantee!"
That brought Trump to the latest "catch and kill" story about the National Enquirer. On Thursday afternoon, a former doorman at Trump Tower confirmed the unsubstantiated, caught-and-killed story that he "was instructed not to criticize President Trump's former housekeeper due to a prior relationship she had with President Trump which produced a child," Colbert read. "Okay, it's official: There is now a housekeeper I feel worse for than the one at that Russian hotel."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Today's political cartoons - November 24, 2024Cartoons Sunday's cartoons - taped bananas, flying monkeys, and more
-
The Spanish cop, 20 million euros and 13 tonnes of cocaineIn the Spotlight Óscar Sánchez Gil, Chief Inspector of Spain's Economic and Tax Crimes Unit, has been arrested for drug trafficking
-
5 hilarious cartoons about the rise and fall of Matt GaetzCartoons Artists take on age brackets, backbiting, and more
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain PrizeSpeed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 winsspeed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughterspeed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
