Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Stormy Daniels

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel gawk at the damage 'Hurricane Rudy' did to Trump's Stormy Daniels case

President Trump's "got some problems — and we'll cover just some of them tonight in Stormy Watch," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "And it's not just a storm this time, it's Hurricane Rudy! Last night, Hurricane Rudy made landfall on Fox News, and Trump may have to declare himself a disaster area." Giuliani tore down months of denials that Trump was unaware of his fixer Michael Cohen's hush payment to Stormy Daniels and did not reimburse him, but he had an explanation. "What he's trying to ship here is the idea that Cohen gets $35,000 a month from Trump, and out of that he deducts all the hush money he pays," Colbert recapped. "It's all the porn stars you want to silence for one low monthly fee — Cohen calls his service Netchix."

"A visibly shaken, a shattered-to-his-core Sean Hannity tried to point out the looming iceberg in front of the SS Trumptanic, but Rudy said, 'Full steam ahead!'" Colbert said. "And Giuliani went on Fox & Friends this morning to explain the payment in even more damaging ways. ... There's something kind of admirable about being that bad of a liar."

"We don't have Scandal on Thursday nights anymore, so the president has been working overtime to fill that hole for us," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live, recapping the "new new bombshell": "So the president repaid Michael Cohen for the hush money he didn't know anything about — which almost makes you think maybe he did know something about it — and he 'funneled' it, which doesn't sound suspicious: That's how I pay all my porn stars, too, through a funnel." He had a theory on why this had to be a deliberate decision, "because they can't be this dumb," then for giggles, he showed a supercut of Giuliani's "crazy eyes" on Hannity.

And if you didn't get enough of Giuliani's colorful expressions, The Late Show creatively turned them into commentary on Giuliani's confessions. Watch below. Peter Weber