Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump versus Mueller

Stephen Colbert makes a wish on the 1st birthday of Robert Mueller's Trump-Russia investigation

On Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert wished a happy first birthday to Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation of President Trump and Russian collusion. "The first anniversary is traditionally the paper anniversary, and with any luck that is what Mueller is going to be serving Donald Trump with," he joked on The Late Show. He ran down some ways Trump is apparently "freaking out" about the investigation, including complaining about the FBI at least 20 times a day, lashing out in aggrieved anger, and pining for better "TV lawyers," a notion Colbert had a little fun with.

But while Trump fumes, some Trump aides are "quietly launching his re-election campaign," Colbert said, puzzled. "Why would you launch it quietly? Don't you want people to know? That's like quietly launching a search party." He had some other thoughts on Trump's nascent re-election effort, including a pretty good imitation of dial-up internet.

The White House still hasn't apologized for a staffer's inappropriately macabre comment on Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), so The Late Show offered some trollish ideas for White House apology cards.

And speaking of trolls, Colbert was pretty skeptical of Twitter's new rules to quash uncivil tweets, and a little jazzed about prom season. "That means young love, stretch limousines, and controversy," he said, focusing on the Miami high school that had a live caged tiger at the big dance. "Bringing a live tiger to prom? The only way that could be more Florida is if a shirtless guy rode it into the Taco Bell drive-thru." And he had some questions: "Was it there with a date? Did it do a promposal, with a sign: 'Hey Karen, I may be a tiger but I ain't lyin' when I say I want to go to prom with you — then eat you.'" Watch below. Peter Weber