"Last week was so great, because I'm not Donald Trump," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, following a week-long hiatus. Near the end of his vacation, Colbert started taking "sips" of the news to ease his re-entry, he said, "and the first indication I had that the orange man was feeling blue was Saturday," when President Trump "had this historically long and epically weird speech he gave at the Conservative Political Action Conference, or DBAG."
"The crazy started right off the bean, before Trump even started talking," Colbert said, showing the clip of Trump "dry-humping Old Glory. I believe that is the first time a flag has ever volunteered to be burned. ... The whole flag-hugging thing went over big in the room, except with Don Jr., who shouted: 'I hate the new baby! Take it back.' Then Trump began speaking, and speaking, and speaking. He talked for two hours and two minutes, making it the longest presidential oration in American history — which is impressive, because some of Obama's pauses were almost an hour."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Magazine solutions - December 27, 2024 / January 3, 2025Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - December 27, 2024 / January 3, 2025
-
Magazine printables - December 27, 2024 / January 3, 2025Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - December 27, 2024 / January 3, 2025
-
Why ghost guns are so easy to make — and so dangerousThe Explainer Untraceable, DIY firearms are a growing public health and safety hazard
-
Honda and Nissan in merger talksSpeed Read The companies are currently Japan's second and third-biggest automakers, respectively
-
Taylor Swift wraps up record-shattering Eras tourSpeed Read The pop star finally ended her long-running tour in Vancouver, Canada
-
Drake claims illegal boosting, defamationSpeed Read The rapper accused Universal Music of boosting Kendrick Lamar's diss track and said UMG allowed him to be falsely accused of pedophilia
-
'Wicked' and 'Gladiator II' ignite holiday box officeSpeed Read The combination of the two movies revitalized a struggling box office
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appealSpeed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproarSpeed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
