Stephen Colbert recaps Trump's handsy, 'epically weird' CPAC speech

"Last week was so great, because I'm not Donald Trump," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, following a week-long hiatus. Near the end of his vacation, Colbert started taking "sips" of the news to ease his re-entry, he said, "and the first indication I had that the orange man was feeling blue was Saturday," when President Trump "had this historically long and epically weird speech he gave at the Conservative Political Action Conference, or DBAG."

"The crazy started right off the bean, before Trump even started talking," Colbert said, showing the clip of Trump "dry-humping Old Glory. I believe that is the first time a flag has ever volunteered to be burned. ... The whole flag-hugging thing went over big in the room, except with Don Jr., who shouted: 'I hate the new baby! Take it back.' Then Trump began speaking, and speaking, and speaking. He talked for two hours and two minutes, making it the longest presidential oration in American history — which is impressive, because some of Obama's pauses were almost an hour."

In the speech, Trump called Special Counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation "bulls--t" and pretended he was being sarcastic when he asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton's emails in June 2016. "I thought I had a bad Trump impression — you don't sound like you at all," Colbert told Trump, dishing out some pointers.

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Also, "you weren't joking — in fact, you were even asked about it." Colbert showed the evidence. "Okay, that's pretty damning video — that's why it's part of the new collection 'Donald Trump's Campaign Bloopers and Practical Treason,'" he joked. "Trump also did something presidents rarely do: spontaneous product endorsement," in this case for a 20-year-old product. Watch below. Peter Weber