Monday's Late Show started with a wistful farewell to Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
After two years, Mueller turned in his final report, and according to Attorney General Robert Barr's summary, there's insufficient evidence to charge Trump with Russian collusion. "This is, shall we say, anticlimactic," Colbert said. "It's worse than the finale of Lost. I mean, what about the smoke monster — was it real or not? And if not, why have so many members of Trump's campaign pleaded guilty to lying about meeting with the smoke monster? I don't understand. Why couldn't this have been like the ending of Seinfeld? Still disappointing, but at least they're all in jail."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"So there it is: Mueller is an honorable man," Colbert said, and even if he left open the possibility of obstruction of justice, "he has said that Donald Trump is not a foreign asset — which is good news. But even if Trump was falsely accused, he only has himself to blame. Because he lies so much, you just don't know what to believe. ... The rest of Trump's presidency is going to be like a big bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough: He's going to promise you it's the finest chocolate chips in the world. But I promise you, if you swallow that, you're going to be eating some rat poop — which technically may not be a crime, but it's going to leave a bad taste in your mouth."
Still, Colbert said, "fair is fair," so he crossed "collusion" off his "list of reasons Trump is unfit to be president," and Mueller off the list of active Trump investigations, and, well, you can see what's left on those lists below. Peter Weber
-
Violent videos of Charlie Kirk’s death are renewing debate over online censorshipTalking Points Social media ‘promises unfiltered access, but without guarantees of truth and without protection from harm’
-
What led to Poland invoking NATO’s Article 4 and where could it lead?TODAY'S BIG QUESTION After a Russian drone blitz, Warsaw’s rare move to invoke the important NATO statute has potentially moved Europe closer to continent-wide warfare
-
Africa could become the next frontier for space programsThe Explainer China and the US are both working on space applications for Africa
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wifespeed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
