"There's nothing better for taking your mind off a looming trade war than a looming war war," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. And "we might be headed to one with Iran." He explained the omens: "Rising tensions in the Middle East, American military moved to the region based on questionable intelligence — the worst Throwback Thursday ever. And I'm not the only one who feels this way — so does Donald Trump! ... In this case, Trump is absolutely right here — and if anyone knows how not to go to war, it's Donald Trump."
Except that Trump hired John Bolton to run his national security policy. "Bolton has advocated regime change in Iraq, Libya, Syria, North Korea, Venezuela, and Iran — it's all promoting his business, Quagmires 'R' Us," Colbert joked. "So who's going to win this argument, the president or his national security adviser?" He was not reassured by Trump's answer.
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"Trump was in the Rose Garden this afternoon pushing a brand new immigration plan," Colbert said. "It's slightly more nuanced than his previous strategy, 'Wall!' The new plan comes courtesy of professional daughter-husband Jared Kushner," and it favors "merit-based" immigration over family ties. "Really?" Colbert asked. "Jared Kushner is really calling for an end to giving people special treatment because of their relatives? You don't want to rethink that?"
It hardly matters. "Both Democrats and Republicans hate this plan," Colbert said, and he had a visual demonstration of what Politico called "Jared's big whiff." Watch below. Peter Weber
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Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
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Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
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Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
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White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
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Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
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CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
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Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
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New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wifespeed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
