Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert critique the 19 Democrats who speed-dated Iowa, and Joe Biden

Joe Biden, the clear Democratic frontrunner, has rapidly evolved on the issue of taxpayer-funded abortion. "I haven't seen that many flips since Sea World gave their dolphins cocaine," Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "While Joe Biden is trying to figure out his position on abortion, the rest of the Democrats are trying to figure out how to take his spot at the top of the field. Which is why this weekend, 19 Democrats descended on Iowa to make the case for why they would be a better pick than the former VP."

All 19 candidates made their pitches on Sunday, and "with only five minutes to make an impression on the world's most powerful white voters, all the Democrats took to the stage to deliver their best punch lines," Noah said, showing some jokes and grimacing. He also sampled the Democrats' walk-on music, and he was particularly unimpressed with Rep. Tim Ryan's (D-Ohio) choice.

"After a weekend of campaigning in Iowa, all we've really learned about the Democratic candidates is how bad they are at telling jokes and what their favorite songs are on Spotify — that's it," Noah said. "And unfortunately, that's what you're going to get when you have two dozen people running for president."

Still, Trump "should be less worried about the illegal immigrants and a little more worried about the huge caravan of Democrats making their way toward the White House" — and Iowa last weekend, Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Little known fact: A group of Democrats that large is called a Whole Foods." Colbert also looked at the ways the 19 Democrats tried to stand out; Jon Batiste panned Mayor Pete Buttigieg's jazz piano chops, and then the whole band jumped in.

Biden skipped the event because he was attending his granddaughter's graduation. "Don't worry," Colbert deadpanned, "nothing bad ever happens when the Democratic frontrunner decides not to go to a swing state." Watch below. Peter Weber