Speed Reads

last night on late night

Stephen Colbert cheers America for staying home. Weird Al rewards social-distancers with 1 of his best songs.

Stephen Colbert roped his family into helping him tape Monday's Late Show from their home, and that includes the family dog. "Some positives have come from this. Self-isolation has turned this into a golden age for pets." Antics with the dog, Benny, ensued.

"Now I know a lot of you out there are stressed because we're all in isolation and no one knows how long this is gonna last," Colbert said. "But I have a simple message for all of you: America, you got this. You have been training for this moment your whole lives. Every canceled plan, every 2 a.m. Netflix binge, every GrubHub order from the restaurant across the street — it was for this! We're Americans. There's nothing we do better than not doing things."

On a more serious note, he celebrated the heroism of the doctors putting in inhuman hours in New York City's already-stretched hospitals, marked the arrival of the Navy medical ship Comfort with an idea for a new sitcom, and applauded the world for applauding the doctors and nurses on the front lines of this pandemic: "That is beautiful. I have never been more moved by applause that wasn't for me." There's a darker side to this, too, he noted. "Since the Big Apple's the current epicenter of the COVID-19 epicenter, residents of other states are rallying together to support New Yorkers — and rallying, I mean running them out of town."

Still, "every American is grateful for all of our heroic medical workers, and we want to make sure that they get all the supplies they need," Colbert said. "All of us want that — well, except for this one guy." He showed President Trump accusing medical workers of stealing masks, comparing it to "frisking Mother Theresa on the way out of the orphanage."

The Late Show also highlighted the absurdity of Trump's comments in its open.

At The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon focused on rewarding Americans for sitting in front of their screens, explaining how his musical social-distancing quest led him to rediscover "Weird Al" Yankovic and one of his best songs, "One More Minute." Weird Al, who is at home without his band, turned the song into a one-man homage to social distancing, and you can watch and enjoy below. Peter Weber