Speed Reads

Late night tackles Trump and coronavirus

Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Jimmy Kimmel unmask Mike Pence, note Trump's rush to 'save the meats'

"We're learning more about President Trump's unconventional strategy of completely ignoring the pandemic as it was brewing," Trevor Noah said on Tuesday's Daily Show. But "because Trump has turned every press briefing into a Joe Biden campaign ad, you could be forgiven for not remembering that Mike Pence, vice president and man from the crosswalk symbol, is technically in charge of the coronavirus task team," he added. "And yesterday, when he was asked why America just got to the testing levels he promised all the way back in early March, Pence had a pretty unconvincing answer."

"I don't know why we're listening to that guy at all, because today Pence visited the Mayo Clinic, where he was the only person not wearing a face mask," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "The hospital has a strict policy requiring all visitors to wear masks, and tweeted after Pence's visit" that it had informed of this beforehand. "Wow, that must have been harsh for Mike Pence to get roasted by his idol, mayo," he joked.

Meanwhile, "Americans could see meat shortages by the end of the week," Colbert said. But Trump is ordering the coronavirus-infected slaughterhouses to stay open in a new executive order. "Wow, he really acted quickly to save the meats," he said. "Maybe they should have put that in the initial intelligence briefing."

Trump was reportedly warned about the coronavirus threat "more than a dozen times" in January and February, and he "was asked today what he knew about the virus and when he knew it," Jimmy Kimmel said. "You're gonna find this a little hard to believe, but he didn't really answer." Kimmel also had theories on Pence's mask refusal.

"While me may be isolated right now, it would seem we are not alone," because right "at the moment we are all totally focused on the virus and quarantine and whether or not we should be mainlining Lysol, the Pentagon releases official video of UFOs," Kimmel said. "Has there ever been a worse time for an alien to say 'Take me to your leader'? ... Although here's the one thing I'll say about Donald Trump: If aliens did make contact, he'd tell us. Not on purpose of course, he just wouldn't be able to resist."

The Late Show also recreated a handful of Beach Boys songs for this socially distant summer. Watch below. Peter Weber