The Netherlands is advising its single citizens to quarantine with a 'seksbuddy'

One is the loneliest number, which is why the Dutch government is advising its single citizens find themselves a quarantine partner who can keep them warm at night.

In what The Guardian says is a "typically open-minded intervention" from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM), the Netherlands is proposing that single men and women find themselves a "seksbuddy" for lockdown. The guidance comes after the government was criticized for dictating that visitors must stay at least five feet apart while meeting in a home, which of course hinders any, ahem, romantic relations.

"Discuss how best to do this together," the RIVM helpfully proposes, adding "make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus." Naturally, only people who are "free of illness" should be making such plans. And in the unfortunate event that couples can't meet with each other due to health concerns, the RIVM has some pretty eyebrow-raising advice about "telling erotic stories" to each other from a distance, too.

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Other governments have also struggled with how to address the prospect that couples might want to see each other during the pandemic, even if it means violating self-isolation. In the U.K., the deputy chief medical officer told reporters that lovers ought to "test the strength of their relationship and decide whether one wishes to be permanently resident in another household," or else be content going without seeing each other for as long as the outbreak endures.