Speed Reads

Late night tackles Trump's sore losing

Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers guess what happens to Trump if neighbors bar him from Mar-a-Lago

President Trump on Wednesday "checked off one of the most important things on his presidential to-do list," lifting restrictions on water flow in showers, Trevor Noah said on Wednesday's Daily Show. "So now, the only question is, where will Trump be enjoying all of his high-pressure showers after Jan. 20? Because he's not going to be in the White House. And it turns out, his neighbors at the Southern White House don't want him there, either."

Trump "has reportedly told some advisers that he might refuse to leave the White House on Inauguration Day," but "even if old Cheddar in Charge does agree to hit the road, he may not have anywhere to go," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "In the early '90s, Trump signed a legal agreement to change Mar-a-Lago from his personal residence to a private club, which means he's technically not supposed to reside there."

"What an interesting turn of events," Kimmel said. "This started with Donald Trump's father, who made his fortune evicting people from their homes, now it ends with his son getting evicted from not one, but two houses in one month. In other words, God exists and has a very good sense of humor about all this. I hope he winds up sharing a duplex in New Jersey with Rudy and the MyPillow guy."

"Man, one day you're waking up in the White House, next you're waking up next to Lou Dobbs whispering, 'I made us coffee,'" Jimmy Fallon joked at The Tonight Show. Still, "I'm not surprised nobody wants Trump living next door. Most neighbors ask to borrow some sugar, Trump's like, 'Could I borrow $400 million?' It would be ironic, though, if Trump does move there and then his neighbors build a giant wall next to him."

"New Yorkers don't want him in New York, his neighbors don't want him at Mar-a-Lago," Late Night's Seth Meyers noted. "Trump's going to have to live in the woods. Years from now, a group of hikers are gonna find him holed up in a cave with a long beard, doing rallies for a bunch of polecats."

"Trump's ego has obviously taken a hit this week," but he's the one who "found a way to keep reminding people on a nearly daily basis that he's now the only president in history to lose the popular vote, get impeached, then lose re-election," Meyers said. "On the plus side for Trump, he's the president every kid for the next 100 years is going to want to do their oral report on." Peter Weber