"We are live after Joe Biden's first official State of the Union address, and let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it was a roller-coaster ride of rip-roaring reasonableness," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "A week ago this was going to be a totally different speech. But when Ukraine was invaded, the whole world changed. Because right now, there is a dictator who thinks he can violently conquer a sovereign democracy — but Joe Biden beat him in the last election."
Biden started with Russian President Vladimir Putin's Ukraine invasion and asked everyone to stand in solidarity with Kyiv. "It was a moving moment of bipartisan unity, especially considering the last time Congress stood up that fast together, they were the ones fleeing a fascist invasion," Colbert joked. Biden closed off U.S. airspace to Russia — though if he "really wanted to punish Russia, he would just divert all their flights to Newark," he quipped — and he laughed at Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer getting out "a little ahead of his skis" on one applause line.
The Late Show also played with SOTU action figures.
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"Biden was at the podium with Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi right behind him," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "Fox News was like, 'Throw in Hillary and you've got all four horsemen.' During his speech, Biden introduced his new 'unity agenda,'" and "you could tell it worked because every single Republican ignored him."
Biden "probably could have saved himself some time and tweeted that 'the state of the union is malarky AF,'" Jimmy Kimmel joked on Kimmel Live. Putin is being punished with global isolation, but he was also stripped of his ceremonial judo black belt, "and not only is the martial arts community fight back, Hollywood is taking action," he added. "How good would it be if what finally brings Putin down is a bunch of Russian comic book nerds who are mad they didn't get to see Batman."
"Not every American is on the right side" of the Ukraine war, Kimmel said, pointing to one "feisty little fellow from Texas" who joined the Russian army and showing a video montage of Donald Trump to dispel "this fairy tale of him being tough on Putin."
The Daily Show offered up "Tyronol," a cure for Trump and other conservatives "who praised Vladimir Putin and now wish you hadn't."
The Daily Show's Roy Wood Jr. also delivered his annual State of Black Sh-t address.
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