Late night hosts recap, queensplain the COP26 climate summit's modest accomplishments

"It is Election Day in many places across the country, including here in New York," where voters will get to replace Mayor Bill de Blasio "with their favorite option: anyone else," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "It's also Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, but if climate change continues at its current pace, soon it will just be called Day."
"World leaders are talking about maybe doing something about it at the U.N. climate conference in Glasgow," and yesterday, more than 100 of them "pledged to halt deforestation by 2030," Colbert said. "Of course to do that, they'll need a detailed plan — that they'll need to print out on thousands upon thousands of pieces of paper." The world leaders also "got a video pep talk from young climate activist Queen Elizabeth," he added, queensplaining her speech.

The Late Show also just went ahead and put words in the queen's mouth.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"The queen of England addressed the summit, she had a video message asking leaders to act for our children and our children's children — all of which she's probably going to outlive. What is that woman, 1,000 years old now?" Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. Meanwhile, "more than 100 world leaders agreed to end deforestation before the year 2030 — basically they made a deal to save the Amazon from Amazon at this conference."

Biden also announced in Scotland that more than 70 nations had agreed to join the U.S. in slashing methane emissions by 30 percent this decade, "but not Russia or China, right?" Late Night's Seth Meyers asked. "That's like saying, 'Hey, great news, I got the whole neighborhood to agree to stop murdering except for Hacksaw Dave and Larry the Strangler.'"
"Biden reiterated his commitment to cut carbon emissions in half by 2030, and he can do it," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "I mean, he cut his approval rating in half in three months. Biden ended his big speech by saying 'God bless you all and may God save the planet.' And God was like, 'Uh, this is definitely a you-broke-it-you-bought-it situation.'"
"It wasn't just world leaders at the summit — Leonardo DiCaprio was also there," Fallon said. "Apparently he heard Earth was getting hotter and needed to meet her. Actually, DiCaprio does a lot to fight global warming. It all started with that iceberg."
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Backbench rebellions and broken promises: is it getting harder to govern?
Today's Big Question Backbench rebellions and broken promises: is it getting harder to govern?
-
Glastonbury and the BBC: time for a change?
Talking Point Furore over Bob Vylan broadcast could 'mark the end' for streaming festival live
-
Hotels with kitchen gardens for a foodie weekend away
The Week Recommends Feast on seasonal produce straight from the veg patch at these country retreats
-
IAEA: Iran could enrich uranium 'within months'
Speed Read The chief United Nations nuclear inspector, Rafael Grossi, says Iran could be enriching uranium again soon
-
One year after mass protests, why are Kenyans taking to the streets again?
today's big question More than 60 protesters died during demonstrations in 2024
-
Iran nukes program set back months, early intel suggests
Speed Read A Pentagon assessment says US bombing of Iranian nuclear sites only set the program back by months, not years. This contradicts President Donald Trump's claim.
-
Trump says Iran and Israel agreed to ceasefire
Speed Read This followed a night of Israeli airstrikes on Tehran and multiple waves of missiles fired by Iran
-
Israel strikes Iran, killing military and nuclear chiefs
Speed Read Israeli officials said the attack was a 'preemptive' strike on Iran's nuclear program
-
Israel deports Thunberg after seizing Gaza aid boat
speed read The Swedish activist was delivering food and medical aid to Palestine, highlighting the growing humanitarian crisis there
-
Colombian senator shot on streets of Bogotá
speed read Miguel Uribe Turbay, who has announced his candidacy for next year's presidential election, was shot at a rally
-
Trump says Putin vowed retaliation for Kyiv strike
speed read The Russian president intends to respond to Ukraine's weekend drone strikes on Moscow's warplanes