Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts are pleased to see the Oath Keepers, and Britain's Prince Andrew, face real consequences

"Just over a year after the Jan. 6 insurrection, the feds are finally dishing out some serious consequences, because today, an Oath Keepers leader and 10 others were charged with seditious conspiracy related to the Capitol attack," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "This is starting to restore my faith in the Justice Department. Finally, they're charging people we the sedition we saw with our own eyes on live TV. And hopefully one days the feds will learn the identity of that shadowy figure who was the president who told them to do it."

"Across the pond, Queen Elizabeth has stripped Prince Andrew of his titles" while he faces a sexual assault trial — "so from here on out, he's the Andrew formerly known as prince," Colbert said. "You know it's gotta be bad when the royal family — a group of inbred, gin-soaked jumped-up medieval gangsters that are the product of an inherently racist class system, who have all their money from ravaging the world and stripping the gold teeth out of pensioners — say, 'He did what?!?' "

Thanks to the Supreme Court, "our individual right to get COVID from the worst person at work has been preserved," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "The good news, I guess, is that the Jan. 6 storm Trumpers are finally getting rounded up."

"The Oath Keepers and their one-eyed snake aren't the only ones who support Trump over the country," Kimmel said. "Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene and Sen. Ted Cruz — a.k.a. Klan Mom and the Blobfish — are continuing to push these banana conspiracy theories about who was responsible for Jan. 6."

The Daily Show's Jordan Klepper returned to the Capitol on the Jan. 6 anniversary, and among the people he ran into were Greene and Rep. Matt Gaetz, who were re-enacting the march to the Capitol. 

"The Republican Party is now affirmatively pro-coup," Seth Meyers said on Late Night, citing Ted Cruz as an example. "If you're a Republican who crosses Trump and accepts the results of the election, you get branded a traitor to the party and purged from the ranks in order to please Trump and the base. You have to be willing to go along with insane s--t, like this plan from MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell to — if I'm understanding this clip correctly — imprison almost everyone in America."

That's also how Kimmel understood it, so to clarify, he spoke to "Mike Lindell" in prison.