Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts discuss Biden's Black female SCOTUS choice and other things upsetting Fox News

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer officially announced his retirement on Thursday, and President Biden recommitted to nominating a Black woman, "because he cares deeply about representation — and winning Georgia," Trevor Noah said on Thursday's Daily Show. Fox News seems pretty upset about Biden's candidate pool.

"Being a Black woman isn't the qualification," Noah said. "Joe Biden is going to pick a Black woman who is also qualified," and "why is that a bad thing? Why not try to make the Supreme Court a little more representative of the country it represents? ... It would be nice to have at least one justice on there who's had to ask the Walgreens guy to unlock the shampoo shelf."

Still, "I feel bad for Tucker Carlson," Noah joked. "For almost all of American history, the entire Supreme Court was white dudes with bow ties and weird hair. And now that's all gone, it's all gone. Where's Tucker's representation, huh? #LacrosseLivesMatter, people." 

"Biden hasn't released any names yet, but that didn't stop Fox News from speculating," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Let me clue you in, Fox News: Joe Biden is not nominating Kamala Harris. It's a 50-50 Senate, and she can't vote for herself."

Meanwhile, "Minnie Mouse is ditching her iconic red dress for a pantsuit" at Disneyland Paris, Colbert said. "It's a fun little story, and you'd have to be a desperate culture-war troll to take issue with it — which is why Fox News took issue with it."

"If Minnie Mouse getting a new outfit upsets you, I would recommend turning 4 years old," Jimmy Kimmel laughed on Kimmel Live. And that's not the only "totally made-up outrage going around," he added, recapping a ludicrous rumor in Michigan about school litter boxes for student "furries."

The Daily Show highlighted Fox News' horror at Biden going out for ice cream.

If Mitch McConnell "got his way, Biden's only job would be grilling hot dogs, eating ice cream, and giving people finger guns at the State of the Union," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. Breyer's retirement "is an opportunity for Biden and Democrats to make a historic impact on the court by confirming the first Black woman in U.S. history," but sadly "if Breyer hadn't retired now, there's a good chance Republicans would have held the seat hostage and never let Biden nominate anyone."

The Tonight Show's Jimmy Fallon "news-smashed" Breyer's retirement with Encanto, the East Coast winter hurricane, and Pizza Hut's new spicy pizza.