Late night hosts celebrate 'twosday,' joke darkly about Putin's Ukraine invasion
Russian President Vladimir Putin has started his Ukraine invasion, Stephen Colbert grimaced on Tuesday's Late Show. "Why is Putin sending troops into a place that's not his country? He claims it's to carry out 'peacekeeping functions.' And it's true: 'I keep this piece of Ukraine, I keep that piece of Ukraine, I keep all the pieces of Ukraine!'"
President Biden responded Tuesday by hitting Russia with sanctions on two banks and its sovereign debt, which "means no Russian money can come into the U.S.," Colbert said. "There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors."
Russia's invasion "makes for a very stressful and uncertain time on the ground in Ukraine, but there's one person having the time of his life: multilingual AP reporter Philip Crowther," Colbert said, showing Crowther's viral video. "Now, that looks impressive, but if you translate it, he's just repeating the phrase: 'Where is the library? I must use the bathroom urgently.'"
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
The Late Show offered to teach you just one new language: Putin.
Yes, "a journalist in Ukraine was reporting the news on the Russia crisis in six different languages, and nailed it," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "He also knows six different ways to say 'I'm ready to leave Ukraine now.'" It is Twosday — 2-22-22 — something that "only happens once every 100 years," he added. "President Biden was like, 'I didn't care then, I didn't care now.'"
"The last time an all-2 date happened was Feb. 22, 1922," Jimmy Kimmel said on his Kimmel Live 2-22-22 Special. "American women had just recently won the right to vote, Amelia Earhart bought her first plane, now-President Joe Biden had just passed his first gallstone."
"The biggest No. 2 of them all, Donald Trump," launched his new social media platform Monday, "and you're not going to believe this, but the rollout did not go well," Kimmel said. "Truth Social has been such a disappointment so far, Trump may have to rename it to Don Jr." And as "Putin appears to be inching toward a full-scale attack on Ukraine," he added, "Trump, of course, called him a 'genius' and called the idea 'wonderful' today. What kind of hotel room hidden-camera video does that Putin have? We want to see it, already!"
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
"The social media platform Snapchat unveiled a new feature last week that allows users to share their real-time location with friends," Late Night's Seth Meyers said. "You can learn more about it in an upcoming episode of Dateline."
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
The UK-made Storm Shadow missiles Ukraine is using in RussiaThe Explainer Ukraine reportedly deployed the long-range British missiles this week, following a tense meeting between Zelenskyy and Trump
-
Proposed Trump-Putin talks in Budapest on holdSpeed Read Trump apparently has no concrete plans to meet with Putin for Ukraine peace talks
-
Bolivia elects centrist over far-right presidential rivalSpeed Read Relative political unknown Rodrigo Paz, a centrist senator, was elected president
-
Madagascar president in hiding, refuses to resignSpeed Read Andry Rajoelina fled the country amid Gen Z protests and unrest
-
Sanae Takaichi: Japan’s Iron Lady set to be the country’s first woman prime ministerIn the Spotlight Takaichi is a member of Japan’s conservative, nationalist Liberal Democratic Party
-
Israel, Hamas agree to first step of Trump peace planSpeed Read Israel’s military pulls back in Gaza amid prisoner exchange
-
Israel intercepts 2nd Gaza aid flotilla in a weekSpeed Read The Israeli military intercepted a flotilla of nine boats with 145 activists aboard along with medical and food aid
-
Japan poised to get first woman prime ministerSpeed Read The ruling Liberal Democratic Party elected former Economic Security Minister Sanae Takaichi



