Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts have fun with Tucker Carlson's 'testicle tanning' promo, Florida's CRT math problem

"The state of Florida has announced that it's officially begun its purge of all things CRT," including, bizarrely enough, nearly half of the prospective math textbooks, Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "Now, "I get finding critical race theory in history books or social studies, but math? How? How? 'Well, think about it, Trevor: Algebra is just a bunch of numbers that rejected their slave names and now go by x.'"

On the other hand, "I actually wish there was CRT in math textbooks," Noah added, "because then we could have solved racism by now, just by cheating and going to the back of the book with all the answers in it."

"If you don't know what critical race theory is, neither does the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "But thanks to his important work, Florida has rejected more than 50 math books, after the team uncovered sentence problems like 'Jamaal has seven apples' —  they felt Jamaal sounded suspicious, and where did he get the apples? Does he have a receipt for them?"

Yes, as part of its focus "on withholding knowledge from children," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show, "Florida rejected 41 percent of new math textbooks — at least they think it's 41 percent; for some reason, they suck at math."

"One of the engineers on the express train to right-wing crazy town is Fox News host Tucker Carlson," Colbert said. Over the weekend he teased a new show on "The End of Men," and "the trailer moves from history on to a lot of sweaty, shirtless men," he said. "I gotta say, coming from a Fox News anchor, that is a refreshing and positive celebration of homoeroticism. Good for you, fellas."

The promo also shows what appears to be a "man scanning his penis at the self-check-out," but is actually a depiction of "testicle tanning," Colbert laughed. "I'm no urologist, but if the Lord intended testicle health to include a lot of sunlight, I think He would have put them where the sun do shine."

"I also like that Tucker says half of his viewers will think testicle tanning is crazy," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. "I would venture half his audience was saying, 'I have to try that,' and the other half was saying: 'Testicle tanning, tell me something I don't know — I expose my nuts to red light therapy every day. Sometimes I just drop 'em straight in the toaster and let em' warm up for a few secs.'"

On that joke, The Late Show was way ahead of him.