Speed Reads

Don't Try this at Home (or anywhere else)

Tucker Carlson says it would be 'crazy' to not consider 'testicle tanning.' Kid Rock disagrees.

If you're wondering what the most-watched pundit on cable news is thinking about, the answer is apparently men. More specifically, "The End of Men," as Fox News host Tucker Carlson titled an upcoming Tucker Carlson Originals episode he previewed over the weekend. Men are in danger, Carlson's argument goes, because of declining testosterone levels and dropping sperm counts. And one of the people he brings on to offer solutions, "fitness expert" Andrew McGovern, suggests "testicle tanning."

Actually, McGovern called it "red light therapy," a type of "bromeopathy"; Carlson came up with the "testicle tanning" phrase, though McGovern agreed with the description. "Half the viewers right now are like, 'What?! Testicle tanning, that's crazy!'" Carlson acknowledged, "but my view is: Okay, testosterone levels have crashed and nobody says anything about it, that's crazy, so why is it crazy to seek solutions?"

"It would be remarkable if a whole generation of Tucker Carlson viewers unwittingly sterilized themselves this way," mused liberal commentator Elizabeth Spiers, speaking for a lot of Twitter users. Ken "PopeHat" White suggests that would at least make for good TV.

Carlson again defended "testicle tanning" to a skeptical Kid Rock, who declined to agree that "open-minded people" should at least consider solutions like exposing your genitals to "red light."

And Carlson not only repeatedly brings up "testicle tanning" in his interviews, it's also featured in the teaser for "The End of Men," a promo most notable for its "striking homoerotic nature," as HuffPost's Mary Papenfuss writes. "Tucker would get arrested if he showed this video in a Florida classroom," The Daily Beast's Justin Baragona agreed.