How to make someone fall in love with you, according to science
Don't underestimate the power of being nearby
When researchers asked people to tell the stories of how they fell in love, what were the eleven most common factors?
Some of these factors are worth a deeper look.
Let's check out the specifics of how to make someone fall in love with you:
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Proximity
Being nearby helps a lot. Yeah, unromantic and obvious but if you're looking for love, definitely ask yourself where you're spending your time.
Who becomes friends in the dorms at college? People who are similar? No. People who are nearby.
What underlies this? Obviously, you have to meet, but there's something else going on: repeated exposure.
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As marketers know very well (and anyone looking for love should learn about marketing), repeated exposure makes us like almost anything.
"What about that annoying person at work, huh? I see them all the time and I don't fall in love with them."
True. Repeated exposure amplifies whatever is already there.
Love at first sight only happens in 11 percent of cases and it's more common in men than women. By the same token, this means first impressions are huge because repeated exposure has a snowball effect.
Looking for love? Then think about where you're spending your time. What places do you go on a regular basis and do they contain the kind of people you want to date?
Sounds obvious but if you're spending 99 percent of your waking hours at work and at home, you're not allowed to be surprised you're single.
Character
People like people who are nice and smart and funny and make them feel good and zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yeah, of course.
Let's talk about the other side of character. What are you like inside?
Having a strong sense of who you are and a lot of self-confidence is a good predictor of whether you're going to fall in love with anyone.
Get your inside straight and the outside might take better care of itself.
Similarity
Opposites attract… um, not all that much.
Emphasizing similarity when getting to know someone is always a good idea. It's one of the key pillars of influence documented by persuasion expert Robert Cialdini.
Arousal
Any type of situation that affects us emotionally increases the chance of falling in love.
This is why people fall in love on the rebound. This is why we see Stockholm Syndrome. This is one of the reasons musicians are more attractive.
We can't really tell what is causing our feelings and we have to guess. It's called misattribution of emotions. So any emotionally arousing situation has the potential to fool us into thinking we're in love.
Even an action movie can do it.
Misattribution of emotions can even make you fall in love with someone who is trying to kill you.
But, again, you can't think making someone fall in love with you is as easy as taking them to an action movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger is not cupid.
Like repeated exposure, arousal is merely an intensifier.
Beauty
How to make someone fall in love with you? Being attractive helps, no doubt. Make yourself look good. What's news about that?
Guys, you may not be putting in enough effort.
The stereotype that men are more focused on beauty than women proves out – but not nearly as much as you might think.
Tell women they're connected to a lie detector and they are far more likely to say physical attractiveness is important.
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